Revenge Is A Beverage Best Served Chilled
by Trurotaketwo
Summary: Sumia accidentally ruins a cake that Lissa baked for her brother. To get her own back, our mischievous Princess replaces Sumia's drinking water with something more intoxicating. Can you say, "Overreacting"?
1. Chapter 1

Revenge Is A Beverage Best Served Chilled

by Trurotaketwo

"Sumia, you ditzy klutz!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...!"

"Do you have any idea how long I've been looking forward to giving that cake to my brother?!"

Lissa's finger pointed furiously at the cake spilled on the floor. What had once been a beautiful work of art was reduced to a slushy pile of white icing and brown debris, resembling a pile of Pegasus droppings. The end result of an hour of hard work, wasted in a matter of seconds thanks to Sumia's "boots".

Sumia's hand went for the coin purse tied to her belt. Her face flushed of colour.

"H-here! I have money, I think I can cover the cost of the ingredients!"

"I don't want your money, stupid! I can't _buy_ the feeling Chrom would have had when I surprised him with that cake!"

The jittery Sumia stepped back. Her eyes wide with pleading, akin to one being confronted by a man with a cowl and a very large axe. "Well, um, c-can't we just bake him a new one? I'll help you, if you..."

"There isn't time! We're moving out in fifteen minutes! How am I supposed to bake a new cake by then?!"

Sumia was about to answer the question by sugesting pausing time, in frantic desperation for a solution when Chrom entered the cook house.

"What's all the yelling about?"

Lissa pointed at Sumia as she turned to face her brother.

"Well, I _was_ going to surprise you with a cake I made for your birthday, but Fumble McStumbles here knocked it over and completely ruined it!", she barked. Her tone changing from that of a parent scolding a child to that of a sibling reporting the crime to a parent, hoping to invoke their special tear-inducing brand of justice.

Sumia's pretty face was already on the verge of opening up the waterworks. Her hands clasped tightly together as she looked pleadingly at the siblings.

"You have to believe me, Lissa, I'm really, really, truly, madly, deeply, sorry." She gave a weak sob as a tear escaped her eye. "If I could fix it with money, I'd give you everything I have on me. If I could make it up to you by apologising, I'd apologise as much as it took."

Unfortunately for Sumia, there are times when "sorry" just isn't good enough. When annoyed by people who think that just saying "sorry" gives them a free pass to be as stupid and reckless as they like, hearing that word can actually do more harm than good.

"There is _nothing_ you can do to fix this, Sumia! Gods, you are such an idiot!"

"That's enough name calling!" Chrom snapped, taking up his duty to enforce justice. "Sumia has apologized! Don't be bratty!"

Lissa's blood boiled at a dangerous temperature. She should have known that Chrom would be on Sumia's side. Sweet, perfect, pretty Sumia who couldn't put a foot wrong, despite her inability to make it through a day without falling down.

The Shepherds began their patrol in a chilly silence. Usually, when starting out a routine patrol, the shepherds were in reasonably high spirits. This was unfortunately, not the case on this day, with the two most cheerful members of the group having dark clouds above their heads. Lissa usually kept everyone's spirits up with jokes and merry quips. Alas, she was still fuming about that blazing row in the cook house. By the time they reached the next town for a short break, Lissa's mood showed no signs of improvement. The frustration of all her hard work going to waste and the one responsible for it receiving no punishment enveloped her soul. She sat against a tree and opened her gourd for a quick drink. Then, upon remembering that it was her turn to refill the gourds, decided to make it a long drink. She might as well empty it, if it was going to be refilled again anyway. By chance, she heard the macho buffoon Vaike and the butch tomboy Sully having a macho, butch conversation about the manliest of leisurely pursuits- alcohol.

"Let me tell ya, Sully, I've been waiting for this! That tavern by the corner of the main street finally has it in stock!"

"What, that super strong rum you've been going on about all week?"

"Exact-a-mondo! Surviving a night off that stuff is, like, the ultimate challenge for a hardened drinker like me!"

"Ultimate headache, more like."

"Come on, you sure you don't want to have a couple of shots later? I bet I could drink you under the table!"

"Alright. I've got leave tomorrow. Consider you're challenge accepted, blondy!"

This discussion peaked Lissa's interest. She had seen Vaike drinking several times during their time as shepherds Vaike was thankfully a pleasant drunk and his binge drinking didn't usually cause too much trouble. It is however because of that, that Lissa knew that white rum is a clear liquid. Very difficult to tell apart from water, unless you have time to smell it. Finally, Lissa knew how to get even with Sumia.

The first phase of the operation was to go about refilling the gourds. She filled them up with clear, cool, refreshing water. However, there was one that she only filled halfway. This was the special one that she was saving for Sumia. Phase two of the master plan was to simply play the waiting game (though I personally think chess is a more constructive way to pass the time and is much more fun). As they had an hour before they had to head out again, it took some patience to wait for Vaike to return to camp with a huge bottle tucked under his arm. Now came the most difficult part of Lissa's dastardly scheme- getting Vaike away from that bottle long enough for her to execute stage four of the plan.

She followed him at a distance, until he was just outside the tent and had put his things down. Then it was time to strike.

"Hey, Vaike, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, what's up, squirt?"

Well, I need some help taking down the women's bath tent, but my hands are full with handing the gourds out. Do you think you could help out?"

Lissa knew this to be an offer that Ol' Teach couldn't refuse. Dismantling the women's bath tent offered a chance of a sneak peak of the attractive ladies that use it. And if Vaike was caught peeking, he could just say it was an accident and that Lissa had asked him to help.

Now that Vaike was out of the way, Lissa seized the bottle, opened it up and topped Sumia's water gourd with the powerful white rum. Thankfully, it was a very large bottle, so Vaike was unlikely to notice half a glass missing. Now all she had to do was distribute the gourds to the platoon and wait for the fun to begin.

The shepherds began their march back to the capital. Lissa kept an anticipating eye on Sumia. It was a hot, clear blue day, so she'd have to take a drink sooner or later. It seemed like ages, but it was actually only fifteen minutes before Sumia reached for her gourd, opened it and lifted it to her unsuspecting lips. She reacted to the unusual taste but shrugged it off. Lissa felt a relentless and incredibly powerful urge to snigger.

Time passed. It was a quiet, peaceful patrol. The shepherds approached the capital, sipping their water as they walked. However, their ears were soon greeted by a strange sound. Sumia began singing a rather peculiar aria.

" _Let's take a chance and let it sound,_

 _our adventure fanfare all around,_

 _take your dreams and make them true,_

 _because Mad King Gangrel smells like pooh,_

 _He is death to every plea,_

 _and he acts just like a child of three,_

 _Let's make a list of all the things_

 _we can do to get rid of his grin,_

 _Sometimes you'll find somebody being a jerk,_

 _there is no reason our scheme will not work,_

 _Bandits and ruffians are in all our lives,_

 _let's go beat them up and have a good time."_

Some of the others laughed and joined in. Lissa had to turn her head away and avoid eye contact. She had the biggest laugh of the whole party bursting to get out. It seemed that the alcohol was taking effect. The march continued, with further sipping of water and Sumia reaching greater levels of mental incompetence. The shepherds returned to their barracks while Chrom went to put the weapons away.

Sumia stumbled into the barracks. Mirabelle, the haughty healer had just finished taking stock of the rations began her daily violin practise. When Mirabelle began practising one of the more jovial tunes, Sumia started raising her legs in tune with the song. She started jumping around the room and clapping her hands. Most of the group was laughing at her giddy antics (with the exception of Mirabelle who was displaying impressive concentration on her music making. In a corner, the magical boy Ricken looked up from the book he was studying. His mistake? Making eye contact with Sumia. Upon seeing his face, she put on a fawning smile, as if seeing a small puppy wagging it's tail and laughing. She hopped over to him and grabbed hold of his hand.

"You wouldn't turn," hic " _you_ wouldn't turn down a dance, would you, Ricky?"

Before the confused boy could answer, Sumia picked him up and started twirling him around. Vaike of course gave an excited (and rather inappropriate) old lads cheer, encouraging Ricken to take full advantage of the situation.

"L-let me go! It's embarrassing!"

She pulled him closer, in a bear hug and his face made a humorous clunking sound against the plate armour covering her chest.

"I'm just trying to make a poor little boy feel like a knight in shining armour! _Doesn't that make you happy?_ "

The obvious answer to this would have been "not really". Being called a "little boy" was something that always got Ricken's back up. True, being small in stature, younger than the other shepherds and of the male gender, there wasn't much else that he could be called. What made it worse was being held like this and listening to the others laughing at him.

When he was finally released, red-in-the-face Ricken made a quick exit. Lissa sat in a chair admiring the hilarity that spawned from her prank. Though she did feel a tiny little bit sorry for Ricken being reduced to a figure of fun.

Being deprived of a partner wasn't enough to ruin Sumia's drunken fun. She continued, skipping and twirling. Some of the others started clapping in tune to her dancing and cheering "Go, Sumia, go!".

Her dance moves soon became sloppy and her face was covered with a film of sweat.

"Oooh, it's...hic...so hot in here! (hic) Someone open a window!"

She unbuckled the straps on her chest plate and the armour came tumbling off. Mirabelle, looking up from her playing gave a startled yelp and dropped her violin. The men in the crowd starred, completely speechless. As Sumia was fairly tall, with a nice face and a slim figure, she had accumulated several admires among the soldiers and the townsfolk. All of the boys were torn between gawking like idiots at Sumia's lovely figure, or doing the gentlemanly thing and turning their eyes away. Seeing her flashing like that, Lissa felt that things had worked out even better than she had planned.

But then, evidence against that reared its ugly head when Sully went over to Sumia and told her that maybe it was time to settle down.

"Okay, okay, settle down! You're getting carried away!"

"Carry...* hiccup* away...? Ohhhhhh!" Sumia's face light up as her arms draped around Sully's neck "Sure, you c-can c-carry me away."

Sumia hopped into Sully's arms. On a reflex the knight's arms shot out to catch the airborne damsel. Their eyes met. On Sumia's reddening face was a look of intoxicated tranquillity. As if she was losing herself in the moment of being carried like a princess. On Sully's reddening face was a look that seemed to say- "What the £$%^&* is going on?"

Lissa felt anxious. Fooling around with someone who is known to have a firey temper usually ended up with bones being broken.

It was at that moment Ricken made his return with Chrom in tow. He pointed, worriedly at Sumia, still being carried by a baffled Sully. Chrom raised an eyebrow and went over to them. Sully made eye contact and dumped Sumia into Chrom's arms.

"All yours." she said

"What is going on?" he asked

Sumia looked up into Chrom's eyes.

"Aw...how wonderful! Two Chrom's!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, completely love-struck.

"Oh, Captain!"

She moved her head closer to Chrom's. His cheeks flushed brilliant pink as the crowd sniggered. He removed his arm from under Sumia's legs and stood her upright. She swayed back and forth like a wind chime. Then Chrom's jaw dropped as an unpleasant idea hit him.

"Wait, tell me the truth!" he said before he sniffed Sumia's breath, "have you been drinking?!"

It didn't take a genius to figure out the answer. Especially when the girl emptied her stomach all over him. The crowd roared with hysterical laughter as Sumia slumped to the floor, finally comatose.

"Oh gods!" Chrom yelled, kneeling down next to her.

Seeing her brother worrying like that was proof enough. This time Lissa was certain that her prank had gone too far.

"Someone, help me carry her to a sick bed. Lissa, could you use a stave on her?"

"U-um, yeah, sure!".said Lissa. She picked up her staff and followed Chrom to the sick bed. She felt like empting her own stomach because when Chrom found out what had happened, Lissa knew that she was going to be in very deep Pegasus dung.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

All things considered, it was actually quite a lovely afternoon. A clear cerulean sky veiled the city as people and animals basked in the sun's radiant glow. It was a time of peace, tranquillity and playing cards as the sun hung above the elegant buildings and the rolling green hills.

But alas, it was not to last forever. It wasn't long before the peace and serenity were tossed to the wind by an earth-shattering war cry-

" _ **ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR WRETCHED LITTLE TEENAGE MIND?!**_ "

"I-I-I don't know." Lissa stuttered "...maybe...?"

"I can't believe you!" Chrom bellowed with his face burning an angry magenta, "You got a soldier drunk on active service! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?! What if we were attacked?! Sumia could have been killed or captured, or worse!"

"W-w-well, we weren't...and she...didn't." Lissa's head hung low, like a puppy that had been caught in front of a pool of urine by someone who had only just mopped the floor. "I didn't think anything like that would happen! All I meant to happen was for Sumia to make a fool of herself. Just like...what happened in the barracks."

" _What happened in the barracks_..." Chrom snorted like a bull, seeing red, "was not only humiliating, but it caused Sumia to leave the shepherds!"

Lissa remembered the scene well. It wasn't exactly the highlight of her week either.

Chrom carried Sumia to a closed off sick bed area, in the bridal fashion. Everything was about to hit the fan for Lissa. But perhaps there was a chance that she and Sumia could resolve the issue in private. There was no need for Chrom to know Yeah! It was something that could easily be fixed with a quiet word and a brief but sincere apology! She waited until Chrom had placed the comatose Sumia on the bed, then pushed him towards the door.

"We need a little privacy!"

"What for?"

"Healer and patient confidentiality! Out!"

"Okay, okay!" With an awkward look about him from his little sister kicking him out of the room, Chrom made his exit and Lissa got out her healing staff. She worked its healing magic and within a few minutes, Sumia came around. She slowly pushed herself up and brought a hand to rub her tired eyes, giving a low moan as she did so.

"Ugh...what happened?"

"Well, I've heard about this kind of thing." said Lissa in a casual, nonchalant fashion "I think it's called...well...a hangover."

Sumia stared in shock. It was the look of someone who had always made a conscious effort to avoid the stuff because they were fully aware of the dangers involved.

"What?! B-but how...!"

Lissa swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"I, kinda, sorta, may have, possibly...put a load of rum into your gourd...no hard feelings...?" Lissa tilted her head forward in a way that always made her look as though she was looking up at someone, when she made eye contact. It was a way to looking at someone that made her look very small an innocent. It was very useful when asking someone for a favour, so Lissa hoped that it would give her apology a better chance of being accepted.

Sumia's eyes and mouth were wide open circles. Her bloodshot eyes begin to fill with tears. It seemed that memories of her drunken exhibition were returning. Which of course meant that Lissa's apology fell on death ears.

"How could you do something so cruel?! I made such a fool of myself! I harassed Ricken, I almost got into a fight with Sully and I threw up all over the captain!"

"Sumia, calm down! Chrom will forgive you!" Lissa waved her palms up and down. Desperate to make her frantic patient see that things weren't as bad as her completely exaggerated outburst made them out to be.

Sumia jumped out of bed and went for the quill and parchment near the bed. She rashly scribbled a letter rolled it up and stomped towards Lissa. Lissa jumped back with a yelp and shut her eyes. But the painful slap she expected never came. Instead Sumia handed her the rolled up parchment.

"Please give this to the captain. It's a request for leave of absence."

"Y-your're leaving!"

"I can stay here!" said Sumia, trembling with anger and embarrassment "Not after what I did." she then gave a weak sob "all those horrible things I said..."

Lissa wanted more than anything to yell " _Like what? Telling Ricken that you wanted him to feel like a knight in shining armour? I'm pretty sure he'll get over it."_ to make Sumia see that she was blowing the whole thing out of proportion. But sarcasm, however well intentioned, ran the risk of making things worse. All Lissa could do was plead for Sumia to stay and just talk things out.

"No." said Sumia "I'm too embarrassed...I'm sorry!"

Then she ran for the door, as a stream of tears leaked from her eyes.

Lissa slumped down on the side of the bed, completely desolate. Sumia was leaving and no one knew when or if they'd ever see her again.

Then Sumia came back into the room, red in the face, and wrapped a dressing gown around her bare torso.

"I'm just putting some clothes on first..." she sobbed, remembering that her chest plate was still in the barracks.

Lissa swallowed hard. She knew that the only thing she could do was tell her brother what had happened and accept the consequences.

That was over an hour ago. By this point Chrom was in great danger of blowing out his vocal cords from all the yelling.

"I can't believe you'd be so petty that you'd pull a stunt this reckless over spilled cake! Not to mention, stupid!"

Lissa felt extremely small and perturbed. It had been a long time since she had last seen her brother in such a rage. He was acting like...well, like how she acted when she yelled at Sumia. Chrom slumped onto his chair, brought his hands up to massage his temples and took a sigh to calm himself down.

"Listen, I wasn't completely on Sumia's side over that cake. When we set off on our patrol, I gave her a firm lecture on wasting food and not looking where she's going. But the way you overreacted to it is simply outrageous. Let's suppose you're walking past me when you accidentaly nudge me, so I throw you in the river. Or suppose I ask you clean your room, because the maid has to go on maternity leave. But when I inspect it, I find a small pile of cookie crumbs under your bed so I have you locked in the stocks for the rest of the day and pelted with rancid tomatoes! Or you commit the unforgivable sin of making me a sandwich with the cheese and the lettuce in the wrong order, so I ship you off to Plegia in a wedding dress to marry you off to King Gangrel! What would you think of me if I did all that?!"

it took Lissa a while to answer, as she had vomited in her mouth from the thought of marrying Mad King Gangrel.

"Well, to be perfectly honest...I'd think that you had lost your mind."

"Exactly. You'd think me an insane tyrant. If we resort to such cruel and unusual punishment over something as frivolous as a ruined cake, then we become no better than Gangrel."

Being compared to the most widely disliked person on the continent isn't exactly the sort of thing that cheers a person up. Especially after it was hypothetically suggest that she marry the man as a punishment.

Lissa gave a deep sigh as her eyes drooped to the floor.

"All I wanted was to give you something nice for your birthday. I was never that good at picking presents out for you, so I really thought I'd cracked it this time." she raised her head up again to look at her brother's face. The redness of anger had faded bit from Chrom's cheeks, but he still kept an air calm fury. It was like the brief moment of the wind dying down before the arrival of a hurricane. "I wanted to give you a good present for once and I was just so angry that Sumia had ruined your surprise. Even if she didn't do it on purpose."

"I think I'm a little old to have enjoying my birthday as my main priority, Lissa." now it was Chrom's turn to give a sigh as he jadedly got out of his chair. "Look, I really do appreciate all the work you put into baking that cake for me and, yes, you did have every right to be angry. But you need to be rational with that anger. If you don't, you can ending losing more friends."

Well he was right. Lissa knew that it was her irrational anger that drove Sumia away. Chrom went for the door.

"Come on, Lissa. We need to head back to the barracks. We're going to rustle up a posse and go find Sumia."

They were going to look for Sumia? Lissa felt a gentle wave of relief. There was still a chance to put things right and the day would have a happy ending.

"You've got it, Chrom."she said as she stood up and followed after him.

"Specifically," said her brother "The posse will comprise of the two of us with Vaike, Sully and Ricken. Because after that display in the barracks, I think they have _quite_ a lot to say to you."

Upon hearing those words, Lissa that she might actually be safer marrying Gangrel.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hey, ho... another Shepard exhibition, another awkward silence. Chrom explained the situation to the other shepherds and they weren't exactly pleased with Lissa. Ricken was mad at her for getting Sumia to cuddle and patronise him in front of the others. Sully was mad about Sumia jumping into her arms and Vaike was mad at Lissa taking his weapons grade rum, which in turn lead to a bollocking from Chrom for having alcohol about his person on duty (although he latter admitted that possessing the alcohol was really more his own fault than Lissa's). As they walked down the streets, Lissa looked at the pouting young wizard walking along side her.

"Come on, Ricken, are you really going to hold a grudge forever?"

"No. Just for the rest of my life." the boy huffed "You and Sumia humiliated me."

"We've _all_ been humiliated!" Sully joined in. "The way she jumped into my arms and gave me... _that smile._..I almost thought she was going to kiss me!"

There was a silence. Chrom looked as though he was starring into space. Then he turned red and shook his head violently.

 _No. No. I have stay focused. I can't have THAT image floating around my head._

Whatever image Chrom was talking about, it seemed to drift over to float around Vaike's head and he looked as though he was loving every minute of it.

"Anyway!" said Chrom "Sumia isn't the one to blame for that display, earlier. Just be glad Frederick was away running an errand, otherwise the consequences would have been _a lot_ worse."

Thinking about what punishment the stern lieutenant of the shepherds could have dished out, Lissa and Vaike both turned a good several shades whiter. It wasn't quite fifty shades, more around twenty, maybe twenty five.

"Still, I don't see why the rest of us have to come too." moaned the young wizard.

"Because, Ricken, letting Sumia know that all is forgiven is the adult thing to do."

Ricken's face perking up at the word "adult" was evidence that Chrom certainly knew what buttons to press.

"Ah! So if I forgive her, instant adult!"

"Well, not quite instant, but it's a step in the right direction." said Chrom

Presently, they arrived at Sumia's house. They were greeted by a maid who's face was covered in soot and who's hair was twisted as if she had been caught in a tornado.

"Good evening, my lords." said the maid, giving a courtesy to Prince Chrom and his party. "I take it you are here to see Miss Sumia?"

"Um, yes, that's right." said Chrom, trying to make sense of the dirty faced maid.

"Please, come this way. Miss Sumia is in the kitchen."

Ah. That explained it.

They were led into a smoky kitchen, with water covering the floor. A second maid diligently moved her mop around as a sooty faced Sumia bowed her head up and down bleating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

The first maid coughed to get Sumia's attention. She turned and nearly jumped back at the sight of her visitors.

"Prince Chrom and his party are here to see you milady."

Sumia looked quite a sight. Her hair was undone while her face and tunic were covered in all manner of smoke and cake ingredients.

"Um...thank you. I will see our guests...here. Could you two please excuse us?"

"As you wish milady." said the maids as they gave a bow and left the lady and her guests to their own devices. Lissa had to admire these maids. Working in servitude look a lot of patience in any household, but to be so calm and professional, working for someone as accident prone as Sumia must really take a will of iron.

Yet another awkward silence.

"Hello, Sumia." said Chrom, giving the friendliest, most not-angry-at-you-whatsoever-even-though-you-threw-up-on-my-best-shirt smile he could muster. "Lissa explained everything. What happened in the barracks wasn't your fault. There's still a place for you in the shepherds, if you want it."

Sumia's fingers played about with her lose hair. With no flowers on hand for her to pluck the petals off, it was the only thing she could do when she was nervous.

"I...um...are you sure you want me? After I embarrassed everyone..."

"Meh. It's cool." said Sully.

"Yeah!" Ricken added, desperate to prove his adultness by letting bygones be bygones "It's all water under the bridge!"

Chrom continued "I've told the other shepherds not to bring it up again. I'm sure we'd all like to put that embarrassing display behind us."

"And if anyone makes fun of you over it," said Vaike, "I'll pound on them for you."

Lissa took a step forwards.

"Sumia, I'm _really_ sorry about putting all that rum into your gourd." she said with her hands clutched tightly together "This whole thing was my fault. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness after the way I acted in the cook house this morning but I really am sorry. I never meant for you to quit your job."

Sumia look up, stunned.

"What? I never said that I quit my job!"

"You're not? But you said you were leaving!"

"No. That note I gave you to give to the captain was just asking for a leave of absence. I was going to come back after things had died down and I could make it up to everyone for all that stuff I did."

Chrom turned to his sister.

"You never said anything about a note!"

"I'm sorry! I was so upset about Sumia leaving that I forgot about it!"

Lissa fished the aforementioned note out of her pocket and handed it to Chrom. He read through it. Then he turned back to Lissa with a face like thunder. It was Chrom's patented "When we get home, you're in for such a scolding!" face.

Then he turned back to Sumia with his "I forgive you for vomiting on me." face.

"So, what are you doing right now?"

"I was trying to make you a new cake, to make up for ruining the one Lissa worked so hard on. And getting drunk. And ruining your shirt." her eyes turned to the pile of black ash on the counter "I still haven't got the hang of it...I was hoping to make it big enough to share with everyone."

Lissa walked up to Sumia and took hold of her hand.

"How about I help you to make it? I figure I owe everybody an apology, too. Especially you."

Sumia smiled in wide eyed admiration, as if Lissa was a wonderful, glowing goddess of confection, come to answer her prayers and pull her up from the depths of despair.

"I'd love to make it together, Lissa! Why don't we all pitch in? Then it'll be extra big!"

"Sure, I'm game." said Chrom.

"Me too!" said Ricken.

"No, no, noooooo..." Sully moaned "I don't do kitchens! I suck at all that domestic stuff!"

"I'll tell you what," said Chrom "Why don't you go get us a wagon and some horses to carry the cake back to the barracks in?"

"Now, that I can do, no sweat!"

Vaike, being a fellow member of the species who doesn't quite do aprons, went with Sully to fetch a wagon.

The others made a cake of two layers. Both tins of mixture were put into the oven and now all they had to do was play the waiting game. Of course, the waiting game proved rather boring so they decided to play Botticelli instead. Then when the cake was baked, they decorated it. Sumia was thankful for Lissa's baking advice and doubtless, the maids were looking forward to a life with fewer kitchen disasters.

Vaike and Sully returned with the wagon, and they took the cake to the barracks to share with the entire platoon.

It was a small gathering over cake and a limited supply of beverages.

Lissa sat next to Sumia and took a sip of her drink.

"Your cake sure is popular with the others!"

"It's all thanks to your advice in the kitchen. I tried about seven times to make a decent cake before you came along to help. I'm just glad the captain got his cake in the end."

Lissa took another sip.

"Ugh! There's something funny about this apple juice. Anyway, you offered to help make a new cake this morning and I just threw it back in your face. If I'd just been a little more patient we could have avoided that embarrassment earlier."

Sumia put an arm around her and took a big gulp of her own juice.

"Ugh, you're right. Maybe the juice has gone off. Anyway, it's water under the bridge!"

They clicked their glasses together and both took another sip.

Vaike went over to Chrom

"Happy Birthday, cap!"he said as he shoved a glass into his hand.

"Are you carrying alcohol on duty again?"

"Of course not! I just got this here cider, off duty! What do you say?"

"I don't know, I have to be up early tomorrow."

"Aw, come on! A quick drab won't hurt."

Realising that this was one of those situations where Vaike wasn't going to relent until you caved in Chrom decided to steel himself and just drink the damn cider. He took a large gulp as Vaike started chanting "Chug, chug, chug!". Nobody joined in though.

Chrom swallowed his drink.

"Hmm...it's a little on the mild side, isn't it?"

"What? I thought it was the super strong stuff."

Chrom handed Vaike the glass, so he could taste for himself. He gulped down a large mouthful of the amber liquid.

"The hell? This isn't cider, just normal apple juice! I must have picked up the wrong bottle..."

A look of sheer horror covered Vaike's face as he realised where he must have left the real cider bottle. There was a sound of laughter from the corner. Chrom and Vaike turned to see a hysterical Lissa and Sumia dancing an idiotic looking take on the tango, as they loudly and obnoxiously hummed the tune.

"Dum! Dum-Dum-Dum-DUM! Dum-Dum-Dum-DUM! Dum-Dum-Dum-BURP!"

Chrom buried his face into his hands

"Oh gods, not this again..."

The End


End file.
